Comfort in the Darkness - Wrap Up

Spiritual Warfare
Medication-induced
Genetic Predisposition
Postpartum
DEPRESSION

It hurts those that know it intimately as well as the people that love them.

Signs:
Change in appetite
Change in sleep pattern
Loss of interest in things that used to be enjoyable
Withdrawing from people
Thoughts of hopelessness
Thoughts that it would be better if you were dead

If you know someone with any of the above signs of depression, please talk to them.  It can be very difficult to recognize that you are depressed when you are in it.  And often, there is no motivation to deal with it.

I never sought psychological or psychiatric help for my depression, but I was far closer to ending my life than you ever want yourself or your loved one to be.  I also suffered for longer than is necessary.  Studies show that there is a significantly faster recovery time when counseling and medication are combined.

As a Physician Assistant that recently left a busy primary care practice, I can tell you that depression is far more common than we like to think.  If you aren't personally affected by it, I can guarantee that you know someone that is.

Father God, You asked me to share my story and I have done so.  Now I pray that You use it to touch those that need it.  I pray that You show those in crisis that there is light in the darkness.  That if they ask, You will save them just like You save me over and over and over again.

Comfort in the Darkness - Part 4

Things went pretty well for about 3 years.  I was connected to a great group of Christians.  I was pushing myself to learn and grow.  In that third year, God called me to a longer short-term trip.  I said yes to leading high school and college students in short-term trips to Philadelphia where they prayed for and volunteered with various people groups and organizations in the city.  It was an incredible experience with amazing people.  And even though I was surrounded by amazing people every day, I felt very alone.  I prayed daily, asking God to give me the words to lead the nightly debrief sessions.  Silence.  I couldn't understand what was happening.  This didn't seem like the Depression that I was so accustomed to.  And yet there were elements of it that were so similar.

At the end of the trip, my closest friend flew to Philadelphia and we drove back together.  We had been inseparable before I left, but were completely unable to get along on the way back.  When we finally made it home, I sat in my apartment with shards of broken friendship and loneliness lying at my feet.  There was a twisted comfort in the familiarity of the feelings I was having.  But, when I started to imagine myself walking into a lake to drown, I became certain of what this was.  I looked back in my blog to see when this had begun.  It had been going on for months and coincided with the start of a birth control pill.  I immediately discontinued the medication and begged God once again to pull me back up from the depths of the darkness.  Once again, He was faithful.  Once again, I was free from Depression.